Quick Critique: The Emoji Movie

Gene (T.J. Miller) is a meh emoji that lives in the Smartphone app-based city of Textopolook this movie sucks. I don’t need to tell you it sucks, you likely know.

But can we stop pretending that this is the end of the world, or cinema? Yes, it’s a cynical, corporate as fuck idea. Yes, it’s a constant reminder that cinema is a business that cares more about profit generating than actual artistry, and I am contributing to this myself by paying to go see this horseshit. Like, I can tell which app paid how much by how long they were in the fucking story! But this is old hat, guys. Hollywood always chases a trend, there was a reason there was a BIDDING WAR for this project! It’s not an example of how the industry is falling apart-this is business s usual.

Don’t even see it for ironic enjoyment or something. I didn’t leave this movie amused by their latest soulless attempt at reigning in an easy buck and making a motion billboard instead of a film. I wasn’t even angry. I was just strongly apathetic. Nothing about this really makes it worth seeing-hell, there are much better kids movie. Like The LEGO Movie and Inside Out, or Wreck-it-Ralph, all of which this movie desperately wants to be. Watch them again, and I trust you you’ll enjoy yourself more.

1/10

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