It’s the tail end of the Cold War, weeks before the fall of the Berlin Wall.
Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are government agents on Alpha, an artificially-created planet comprised of beings all around the galaxy peacefully coexisting and collaborating.
Gene (T.J. Miller) is a meh emoji that lives in the Smartphone app-based city of
(SPOILER WARNING FROM HEREON OUT!!!!! I spoil absolutely every aspect of this movie in this review. You have been warned)
Inevitably Preamble-y Intro
I try my best to avoid using the word ‘pretentious’ when it comes to film criticism.