(Originally published 17 November-19 December 2016)
Intro/Tuesday & Thursday:
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Podcast: Horrorthon 2016
Month: January 2017
(Originally published 4 December 2016)
(SPOILER WARNING!!!!!! Later on down the article, I will be discussing The Accountant as a whole, and will therefore spoil the entire goddamn movie. You have been warned)
Sooooo…they made an action hero autistic man with math powers.
(Originally published 13 October 2016)
WARNING!!!! This blog post SPOILS the entirety of the Suicide Squad movie! If you have not seen it yet and wish to go in unspoiled, proceed with caution. Or…don’t read it until after you’ve seen the movie. Whichever works, yo.
You know what they say; all great critics review movies over two months after they come out (they totally say that look it up shut up).
(Originally published 13 September 2016)
Kubo (Art Parkinson) is a young boy who lives in a mountain cave with his ill mother (Charlize Theron). He routinely goes down to a local village to create stories by magically controlling origami figures using his shamisen. He must always returning home before dark, as him and his mother are in hiding from his grandfather the Moon King (Ralph Fiennes) and his evil aunts (Rooney Mara). However, Kubo accidentally breaks this curfew, informing his aunts of his location. After barely escaping them, he journeys with a monkey totem that was magically brought to life and a man cursed to be a beetle (Matthew McConaughey) in order to find mystical items that will help defeat his aunts and grandfather.
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Quick Critique: Nerve
(Originally published 19 August 2016)
One of the leading semi-trends in Hollywood’s endless crusade to appeal to young morons is this kind of ‘technophobic’ subgenre. Modernising these usual horror and thriller tropes and attributing them to the tech-savvy social media generation. And mostly they suck, probably because they’re written who have no understanding of how the internet and teenagers coalesce.
(Originally published 17 August 2016)
“The Force Awakens is a carbon copy of A New Hope!!!!”
Everyone and their dogs
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Quick Critique: The Neon Demon
(Originally published 1 August 2016)
Jesse (Elle Fanning) is a beautiful young model trying to make it in Los Angeles. Befriending a make-up artist Ruby (Jena Malone), she is soon caught up in the glamourous world of modelling. However, as her career continues to grow, she becomes the object of obsession by many and envy of Ruby’s friends Sarah (Abbey Lee) and Gigi (Bella Heathcote).
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Podcast: Ghostbusters (2016)
(Originally published 15 July 2016)
WARNING: This review contains spoilers for the movie Trainwreck. As in, I spoil the entire damn movie and talk about it like you’ve watched it. While having seen the movie is not essential to reading this, it does give you more context for the points I bring up, and of course do not read further if you wish to see the movie spoiler-free.
You Call Yourself a Film Critic 