Quick Critique: Snatched

Emily (Amy Schumer) gets dumped right before her planned trip to Ecuador, leaving her facing the prospect of going alone. Rather than face that, however, she coaxes her reticent, worrywart mother Linda (Goldie Hawn) into coming with her. Continue reading “Quick Critique: Snatched”

Review: Suicide Squad, and My Problems with the Negatives of the Negative

(Originally published 13 October 2016)

WARNING!!!! This blog post SPOILS the entirety of the Suicide Squad movie! If you have not seen it yet and wish to go in unspoiled, proceed with caution. Or…don’t read it until after you’ve seen the movie. Whichever works, yo.

You know what they say; all great critics review movies over two months after they come out (they totally say that look it up shut up). Continue reading “Review: Suicide Squad, and My Problems with the Negatives of the Negative”

Quick Critique: Kubo and the Two Strings

(Originally published 13 September 2016)

Kubo (Art Parkinson) is a young boy who lives in a mountain cave with his ill mother (Charlize Theron). He routinely goes down to a local village to create stories by magically controlling origami figures using his shamisen. He must always returning home before dark, as him and his mother are in hiding from his grandfather the Moon King (Ralph Fiennes) and his evil aunts (Rooney Mara). However, Kubo accidentally breaks this curfew, informing his aunts of his location. After barely escaping them, he journeys with a monkey totem that was magically brought to life and a man cursed to be a beetle (Matthew McConaughey) in order to find mystical items that will help defeat his aunts and grandfather. Continue reading “Quick Critique: Kubo and the Two Strings”

Quick Critique: Nerve

(Originally published 19 August 2016)

One of the leading semi-trends in Hollywood’s endless crusade to appeal to young morons is this kind of ‘technophobic’ subgenre. Modernising these usual horror and thriller tropes and attributing them to the tech-savvy social media generation. And mostly they suck, probably because they’re written who have no understanding of how the internet and teenagers coalesce. Continue reading “Quick Critique: Nerve”

Quick Critique: The Neon Demon

(Originally published 1 August 2016)

Jesse (Elle Fanning) is a beautiful young model trying to make it in Los Angeles. Befriending a make-up artist Ruby (Jena Malone), she is soon caught up in the glamourous world of modelling. However, as her career continues to grow, she becomes the object of obsession by many and envy of Ruby’s friends Sarah (Abbey Lee) and Gigi (Bella Heathcote). Continue reading “Quick Critique: The Neon Demon”

Quick Critique: World of Warcraft

(Originally published 6 June 2016)

Warcraft is based on the game series of the same name by Blizzard Entertainment. It is largely influenced by the original RTS game Warcraft: Orcs & Humans rather than the hugely popular MMORPG World of Warcraft, though it takes elements from future games. I have not played any of them. Not a single one. So let this be a statement from someone who has absolutely zero investment in this series and is judging this solely as a movie: why is this getting critically mauled like it is? Continue reading “Quick Critique: World of Warcraft”