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2019: Watchlist and So Bad It’s Good List

It’s that time again.

Starting off, here is my watchlist. Less than the last few years as I’m trying not to rush to see literally every movie ever made, but I still saw 260 releases for the year, and here they are:

 

  1. Welcome to Marwen
  2. Zubawa Zubawa
  3. Stan & Ollie
  4. Glass
  5. Mary Queen of Scots
  6. On the Basis of Sex
  7. Vice
  8. The Mule
  9. Escape Room
  10. Destroyer
  11. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
  12. Can You Ever Forgive Me?
  13. Green Book
  14. An Impossible Love
  15. A Private War
  16. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
  17. 1985
  18. All is True
  19. Velvet Buzzsaw
  20. Happy Death Day 2 U
  21. The Kid Who Would Be King
  22. Eight Grade
  23. Peranbu
  24. Boy Erased
  25. The Hole in the Ground
  26. Alita: Battle Angel
  27. Kobiety Mafii 2
  28. Lola & her Brothers
  29. The Time of Forests
  30. A Faithful Man
  31. In Safe Hands
  32. Keep Going
  33. Captain Marvel
  34. The Mongol Rally by the Irish Reasonable Adventurers
  35. Isn’t it Romantic?
  36. Serenity
  37. Miss Bala
  38. Fighting with my Family
  39. Ben is Back
  40. Mute Date
  41. Us
  42. If Beale Street Could Talk
  43. Fisherman’s Friends
  44. Pet Sematary
  45. Dumbo
  46. The Kindergarten Teacher
  47. Eaten by Lions
  48. Wonder Park
  49. Unicorn Store
  50. Missing Link
  51. Paddleton
  52. Shazam
  53. The Sister’s Brothers
  54. Leaving Neverland
  55. Bed
  56. I Want to Eat Your Pancreas
  57. Jesus
  58. Bone Born Bone
  59. Penguin Highway
  60. Wild Rose
  61. Of Love and Law
  62. Twisted Pair
  63. Greta
  64. Avengers Endgame
  65. The Dirt
  66. At Eternity’s Gate
  67. Red Joan
  68. Dragged Across Concrete
  69. Out of Blue
  70. Long Shot
  71. Tolkien
  72. Pokémon: Detective Pikachu
  73. Loro
  74. High Life
  75. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum
  76. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile
  77. Vox Lux
  78. Aladdin
  79. Mid90s
  80. Booksmart
  81. Godzilla: King of the Monsters
  82. The White Crow
  83. Ma
  84. Dark Phoenix
  85. Rocketman
  86. Woman at War
  87. Papi Chulo
  88. Diego Maradona
  89. Late Night
  90. Amazing Grace
  91. Men in Black: International
  92. Brightburn
  93. Toy Story 4
  94. Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened
  95. Gloria Bell
  96. Sometimes Always Never
  97. The Silence
  98. Yesterday
  99. Spider-Man: Far From Home
  100. Midsommar
  101. Dirty God
  102. Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese
  103. Prisoners on the Moon
  104. Bait
  105. The Dead Don’t Die
  106. Apollo 11
  107. Anna
  108. Stuber
  109. The Lion King
  110. Vita and Virginia
  111. Pavarotti
  112. The Current War
  113. The Intruder
  114. The Brink
  115. Varda by Agnes
  116. Blinded by the Light
  117. Gaza
  118. Animals
  119. Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood
  120. The Angry Birds Movie 2
  121. Good Boys
  122. Dora and the Lost City of Gold
  123. Marianne and Leonard: Words of Love
  124. Never Grow Old
  125. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
  126. Crawl
  127. The Mustang
  128. It: Chapter 2
  129. Pain and Glory
  130. Polityka
  131. Extra Ordinary
  132. Hustlers
  133. The Chambermaid
  134. Ad Astra
  135. The Souvenir
  136. The Kitchen
  137. Ready or Not
  138. Hello, Privilege? It’s Me, Chelsea
  139. The Goldfinch
  140. Hotel Mumbai
  141. Don’t Let Go
  142. The Shock of the Future
  143. Never Look Away
  144. Steven Universe: the Movie
  145. Joker
  146. Judy
  147. Best Before Death
  148. The Rollover
  149. Hungary 2018
  150. A Bump Along The Way
  151. A Regular Woman
  152. Push
  153. Letters to Paul Morrissey
  154. The Day I Lost My Shadow
  155. Good Posture
  156. Becoming Animal
  157. Where Would You Like the Bullet?
  158. Corpus Christi
  159. Pahokee
  160. Advocate
  161. Flatland
  162. Lift
  163. The New Music
  164. Sibyl
  165. Splitting the Sop
  166. Forman vs. Forman
  167. Dark Lies the Island
  168. Gemini Man
  169. Official Secrets
  170. A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmaggedon
  171. Land Without God
  172. The Farewell
  173. In the Shadow of the Moon
  174. The Edge of Democracy
  175. The Laundromat
  176. Murder Mystery
  177. Here Comes Hell
  178. 1BR
  179. Bliss
  180. Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street
  181. Kindred Spirits
  182. Colours Out of Space
  183. Antrum: The Deadliest Movie Ever Made
  184. The Magnificent Obsession of Michael Reeves
  185. The Gangster, The Cop, The Devil
  186. The Wretched
  187. Why Don’t You Just Die?
  188. Terminator: Dark Fate
  189. The Beach Bum
  190. One Child Nation
  191. The Haunting of Sharon Tate
  192. That Day Shall Come
  193. The Last Black Man in San Francisco
  194. Countdown
  195. Non-Fiction
  196. The Aeronauts
  197. Brittany Runs a Marathon
  198. Lost Lives
  199. Jesus Shows You the Way to the Highway
  200. The Golden Glove
  201. The Nightingale
  202. Tall Girl
  203. Dolomite is my Name
  204. The King
  205. So Long My Son
  206. A Hidden Life
  207. Jojo Rabbit
  208. Mother
  209. Portrait of a Lady on Fire
  210. The Lighthouse
  211. Greener Grass
  212. The Other Lamb
  213. The Iron Sky-The Coming Race
  214. Little Monsters
  215. Luce
  216. 2040
  217. The Good Liar
  218. 21 Bridges
  219. Le Mans ‘66
  220. Monos
  221. By the Grace of God
  222. Frozen II
  223. Them That Follow
  224. Harriet
  225. Last Christmas
  226. Midway
  227. Knives Out
  228. Shooting the Mafia
  229. Sorry to Miss You
  230. Blue Story
  231. The Irishman
  232. Parasite
  233. The Last Right
  234. Ordinary Love
  235. A Dog Called Money
  236. Motherless Brooklyn
  237. The Cave
  238. Honey Boy
  239. Marriage Story
  240. Citizen K
  241. I Lost My Body
  242. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
  243. Cats
  244. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
  245. Always Be My Maybe
  246. An Elephant Sitting Still
  247. Unplanned
  248. Charlie Says
  249. The Pool
  250. The Two Popes
  251. The Knight Before Christmas
  252. Under the Silver Lake
  253. Doctor Sleep
  254. Let it Snow
  255. The Peanut Butter Falcon
  256. Asako I & II
  257. Polar
  258. 6 Underground
  259. The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind
  260. Transit

Now onto my so-bad-it’s-good list! Way more entries than I was expecting, I’m happy to say

Cats

I already talked about this film on this blog recently, so I don’t feel like repeating myself. What I will say is that it’s truly unlike any other thing I’ve seen all year. I admire its creativity, but mostly I love the baffling decisions that went into its production. The unfinished effects after it was rushed into cinemas, the nightmare fuel mice and cockroaches with human faces, the overabundance of cat puns, the random scene where they break into a fantasy tap dancing sequence, Ray Winstone. It’s truly strange and kind of disturbing, but that’s what makes it so memorable and funny.

Dark Lies the Island

Man, this film really wants to be a McDonagh-calibre outing. It’s just a weird, poorly thought out dramedy where the humour doesn’t really work and the dark moments miss by about a mile. And yet there’s something oddly compelling about it. I mean that BDSM scene will haunt my nightmares, but I’m here for it! There’s such great talent here for this meandering, pretentious nonsense, but when it really goes for gold by the end I’m just here for the ride and to see where the fuck it ends up landing.

Escape Room

This is not a good movie, but it is a fun one. I’d probably prefer following characters I like in a plot that makes sense, but given my options it’s pretty fun to see these guys get put into the most nonsense situations possible. Their attempts to recreate Saw are laughable, and trying to cash in on the escape room craze is cynical and so lazily handled. They really will make trash out of anything for a cheap scare, but if the trash is this much fun, bring me the trash!

Gemini Man

This was a mistake. An entire movie made because of a gimmick based on a script that has been bouncing around for over 20 years handed to a director who has no real success with conventional action films and you toss a coin about whether you’ll get a good movie from him. But goddamn, when Ang Lee fails, he fails spectacularly! The relationship between Will Smith with both himself and Mary Elizabeth Winstead makes no sense, the latter have one of the most ill-thought out meet cute ever conceived. How Smith gets through his younger self is embarrassing, and this may have two of the funniest action shots ever conceived to film. It looks ugly, it has zero personality, it’s a 90s script made in fucking 2019, but fuck if it ain’t a trip!

The Intruder

Can an entire movie be saved by one performance? Because this entire movie was saved by one performance. I do not know what Dennis Quaid was thinking in this part-it’s like he’s from an entirely different movie planted onto this generic thriller. Like, most of this movie is boring as hell, but he’s so fascinating in how miscalculated this is. Do not see it for any other reason than you wanna get your bizarre Quaid fix. Sadly his brother is unavailable to give us that…

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

I actually contributed to the Indiegogo campaign for this. About 90 years later I got the digital download. And I really wasn’t sure what to think about it after finally sitting down to watch it. It made me wonder if I overpraised the original on how smart it is-this really was the film everyone imagined when shitting on the original. Yet, isn’t that kind of fun? Daft, out of place political commentary, over the top badly composed action set pieces, wooden as hell performances and random appearances both historical and real (where did they dig up Tom Green from?!). If Hitler on a Dinosaur doesn’t hook you in this film’s appeal is lost on you, otherwise give it a shot.

Kindred Spirits

Imagine someone said “Lucky McKee should make a Lifetime movie”? Wouldn’t that be dumb? Wouldn’t that be stupid? Well, here you are. From the opening frame I could tell this would be a garbage fire, but just how misjudged and confused it ended up being is a fucking trip. I do not know how this movie is meant to make me feel, what exactly it’s going for or where it wants its characters to end up. And it’s a shame, as Thora Birch (oh, there she is) and Macon Blair are really trying to add weight to this massless mess, but it just crumbles all around them. Some really entertaining trash all the same.

The Knight Before Christmas

This is the silliest, most haphazard idea ever, and doesn’t do anything with its story threads or characters, but you know what? It’s really charming in its earnestness. The guy who plays the knight just goes all out for this, he’s really trying where the rest of the cast aren’t. It’s so dumb and the plot just meanders forever, but it goes all in on the schmaltz and becomes a surprisingly cosy treat if you’re willing to ignore how dumb and generic it is. Not one I’ll watch every Christmas, but perhaps you’ll get a kick out of it.

Kobiety Mafii 2

The first Kobiety Mafii is a weird Polish female-focused mafia flick that is all over the place in terms of story and tone, but also deliriously entertaining in its silliness. Now we have a sequel, with a bit more of a budget, and equally as daft. Like one of the main characters getting romantically attached to a terrorist, or a character just…wandering into a job I guess? It doesn’t have the fresh dumbness of the original and feels a little more self-aware, but it’s still pretty goofy and takes no prisoners in how out there it will go to push these ensemble pieces to their breaking point. If there’s another sequel, I’m already there.

The Pool

I don’t really know how to even describe this one. It’s a Thai thriller about a man and his girlfriend who get stuck in an emptied, abandoned pool where a terribly-CGed crocodile decides to join them. The amount of stupidity both character showcase is baffling and equally parts frustrating and hilarious, and some of the set pieces they pull out to make this pretty limited setting exciting need to be seen to believe. The lengths they go to to rack up tension just suspends disbelief, and eventually you want these two to die because they’re too stupid. Manic and really funny, it’s one to search out.

Twisted Pair

Is any so-bad-it’s-good list even complete without a Neil Breen release? And this time he has a budget kind of. It’s full of his usual trappings-awkwardly shit framing, his own character being overpowered to ridiculous beliefs, a conspiracy that barely makes sense if at all, sheer clumsiness. But this time there are two Neil Breens! And one is an eeeeevil Neil Breen…who doesn’t really do that much evil. This guy’s sheer narcissism and complete lack of talent will always be compelling to watch, and with promises of a sequel, our continued adventures in the Breeniverse don’t look set to end too soon.

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